The Big Day

So today was the big day. After suffering through bloating and thrush on my tongue from all of the steroids and antibiotics, today was the day that we might actually get pregnant. I had my couch all arranged for the two days of bed rest. Knitting...check. Books..check...Comfy blanky...check. Change of clothes, brush, meds, computer...check, check and check.

I did some laundry last night and this AM so my work clothes wouldn't accidentally get placed in the dryer.

We arrived on time. Bladder full. Happy thoughts and song in the head.

We were in the same room as they put us in for the extraction. Gown, booties, head covering all the same as before. They kept checking the bladder fullness and I was reading while drinking water and humming. Thirty minutes to go.

The Dr. entered the room and sat on the edge of the bed about 15 minutes later.

And then the other foot dropped.

After introductions, he started, "I am sorry, I have some bad news, tragic news actually."

He went on to explain that all of the embryos had arrested development on day 3. I don't think he ever told us how many there were on Thursday when they last checked them, but looking at the chart he was holding in his hand it looked like at least 6. They were looking really good that day. Everything was pointing to there not only being embryos for transfer but also some to freeze. He anticipated this would have been a really awesome chance for pregnancy.

Maybe it was the construction and duct work they were doing in the building, although they have been doing that for some time and they haven't had any other issues. The room is a "clean room" and extra filtered. They had no other transfers today so they don't know if anyone else has been affected.

And then he told us the next cycle would be on them. They would make good on this since it was likely something in their system. He said in his twenty years of doing this he has never seen anything like this. It is never good to be an anomaly in the medical system.

He suggested that maybe we get away for the weekend.

So we did, we went to Vegas where I now type this blog. We sat next to the pool this afternoon. We enjoyed the cool water and the sunshine and heat.

We will have to start over again. Suppression, stimulation, extraction and hopefully this time we will make it to the next step.

That will take at least another two months.

I am not sure why we are not supposed to have kids right now. But apparently we aren't.

As Tom pointed out, we have been very lucky in all other aspects of our life, just not this one. I am doing actually really okay. It was almost like I have become so used to this not working, I wasn't really ready to let myself think that it would work. I just was more prepared to have another negative pregnancy test than to not have any embryos after they looked so good.

And I really wish I could end this one with the then I woke up phrase......