Let's start at the Very Beginning

The impetus behind this blog is to help my friends and family understand our journey towards growing our family. I know some are afraid to ask questions, some do not know what we have been doing and some have been in the loop asking and keeping abreast the whole time.

It all began at the end of residency. I am a family medicine doctor and we had put off trying to have kids until residency was over. As a chief resident, my schedule was busy and my learning had to come first. June 2006, the same month I finished residency, we went off birth control, with three nephews on my side and two nephews on Tom's side, we were ready to start having kids of our own. November comes and still no pregnancy.

I discussed with my Gyn friend and she suggested some testing. All normal. Clomid she says (a pro-ovulatory med) may help. I wanted to give my body a chance. I wanted to be like my siblings and most of my family and do things naturally. I DID NOT want to be Jon and Kate plus 8.

By March 2007 I was ready. We got the prescription, we counted the days that it should take and no period came the next month. A week later a pregnancy test turned positive. YAY!

Having helped my friends and patients through miscarriages, I decided only our siblings and parents needed to know. Until the ultrasound, until we knew that there was a heartbeat (that usually means a <5% chance of pregnancy loss). We waited and tried not to get too excited. I used the pregnancy as a good reason to leave a position that I knew wasn't a good fit for me at an Urgent Care that I was working at part-time.

The ultrasound was done it secret, after hours by my Gyn friend while she was on call to avoid the rumor mill of the hospital to start. But, no pregnancy could be seen, no heartbeat, no pregnancy sac, nothing. NADA.

So, we started down a road of medical investigation and medications. The end result was this pregnancy (which felt like a phantom) was an ectopic (outside the uterus). It landed in the left tube we later learned. My health was never in jeopardy (although it is not uncommon for that to happen with ectopics). The left tube was scarred and there would likely be zero chances of it every acting like a normal tube.

"50% chance of pregnancy each month" I was told......

Clomid 6 more times, increasing doses over the next 8 months. Nothing. No pregnancy. No missed periods. Nothing except the increased hormonal emotional roller coaster a few days a month from the Clomid.

Repeats of tests, tests of Tom's sperm, ultrasounds, all normal. There was the slightest hint of tube disease, maybe this was the culprit.....

We went to Hawaii in Jan of this year. We were hopeful. Maybe this vacation would help the stress go away. It was actually timed perfectly for conception. It was our last round of Clomid before we would be strongly encouraged (read forced by my Gyn friend and our own sanity) to see a fertility specialist.

Failed again.......Fertility specialist great guy. Lots of advise. We could try doing Artificial Insemination (where the best sperms are placed squarely in the uterus). This would give us a chance but our risk of another ectopic was also higher. Tubal bypass was the best option. That means IVF (in vitro fertilization - test tube baby).

An expensive adventure which we are now embarking upon. I will be posting to keep you in the loop. These people are good. They have good success rates. I wish I could be more optimistic but it is coming up on two years since we started to try and my optimism is running short. We will try and hopefully succeed. I will keep you posted!